About the book
How do I put this?
It took me a while to get my head around writing my memoirs and sharing them with you all. "Who am I? Who wants to read my story?"
It's not like I'm famous or a big deal. Then I remembered — we're all big deals. Every person plays a role in someone else's life, no matter how small. The sooner we realise what we bring to the world, the stronger we become as a community.
I could go on searching for reasons not to write this book. Instead, I found three compelling reasons why I had to.
Legacy
Something passed on from one generation to the next. The reason I work so tirelessly — for the little ones watching, and the men they will become.
Healing
Returning to the boy I was, so the man I am can finally exhale. Honest pages about what shaped me — and what I had to lay down.
Hope
A reminder that our stories are not finished. If one man reads this and decides to keep going, the book has done its work.
Watch
What's inside
Pages you'll sit with — not scroll past.
Honest reflections, not a manual. Read slowly. Underline. Return to it.
- 01Growing up between two worlds — identity and belonging
- 02The father wound, and the work of becoming one
- 03Faith, doubt and finding quiet ground
- 04Resilience without hardness
- 05Brotherhood, mentors and the men who shaped me
- 06Choosing the man you want to be next
"Before you can stand as a man, you have to sit with the boy you left behind."
From the opening pages
Excerpt
An opening passage.
I grew up watching the men around me wear strength like a uniform. Pressed, buttoned, never wrinkled. As a boy, I thought that was the goal — to look like nothing had ever touched me.
It took me decades to understand that the strongest men I'd ever known were not the ones who hid their wounds. They were the ones who learned to carry them without bleeding on everyone else.
This book is for the boy who learned to hide. And for the man he is trying to become.
The author
Fredi Nwaka.
Author, mentor and founder of the Boy. Man. Father. platform. For over two decades, Fredi has worked alongside men through the questions most are taught to avoid: who hurt you, who shaped you, and who you are choosing to become.
Boy is the first in a trilogy that follows the three stages of every man's life.